openly striving

Birthday surprise part 2

2005-05-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

At the park we found the bench and in front of it I see the card on the grass. It had blown off the bottom of the bench! I couldn't believe it didn't blow away. I was thankful we got there when we did. Although I would've jumped in the lake to get it! (well, I probably would have sent my boyfriend, lol) This card was from Sonna's mom. It read, "We always say we need to go here but we avoid it like the plague. This clue's not hard; I'm sure you'll work it out."

I got this one really quick, the YMCA. Once there I ask the girl at the desk if she had a card. Sure enough! She handed it to me and I couldn't wait to open it and get the next clue. When I opened it I saw it was from my sister and brother-in-law who live in Florida. I keep back the tears as I look at the scribbles of my nephew, and the name written by my other nephew. I'm realizing Sonna took a lot of time and planning putting this together. The clue inside says, "Except when you work, you meet Him here once a week, almost without fail. Card is taped to what will be the front door."

This was my church. They are doing remodeling so the card was on the new front door. It was from my mom and dad. They go to church there too. The clue inside said, "This next place has 2 words in its name. Both rhyme with Bobby. Register 3." (my boyfriends name is Bobby).

This was easy too. Hobby Lobby! or Bobby Lobby or Hobby Bobby. I had fun with that. lol. I get there and a supervisor from work was at that register with 2 carts of stuff. I really didn't want to have to talk with her but didn't want to wait around either. So we go and wait in line, I talk with the supervisor from work, (no, it didn't kill me) end up telling my whole story (which I was happy to share), and get the next card. When I opened it, my name was written in calligraphy. This card was from friends I haven't seen for a while. This is what the clue said, "You'll find Christian stuff for sale here. I know you can find it if you just have faith."

This was the Mustard Seed, the Christian book store. We get there and I ask the lady if she has a card for me. She says, "Well I don't know if it has that name, but we have some with names on them", as she tries to show me to the card aisle. I said "No, a card someone left here with my name on it." She caught the drift and chuckled at her error and found the card. This one was from another friend I hadn't seen since last year. This was the next clue, "Quieres Comer? Yo Tambien! It's been the traditional favorite for years!"

Well, my Spanish isn't the best but I knew the end would be at Santino's, our favorite Mexican restaurant. When I got there I saw my mom's car. When I walked in, there were my friends and my mom. Once there I received a card from my old college roommate who I haven't talked to in a while. It was a wonderful ending to a great scavenger hunt! Sonna even had balloons, and party favors! It was great! Thank you Sonna! You are the greatest friend ever!

Birthday surprise

2005-05-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had a wonderful surprise for my birthday. I was bummed out because I have to work on my birthday which is two weeks away. My best friend planned a scavenger hunt with a surprise at the end, that totally surprised me. It was great. It started out with a card from my boyfriend. I almost didn't open the card because he said he thought my birthday was the 19th. I'm thinking, we've dated for almost 2 years and he doesn't know my birthday is the 29th? Well, I opened the card and this is my first clue,

"A birthday surprise for you! You work on your birthday this year but another birthday couldn't pass without being celebrated. So make your rounds and find your clues. There's a surprise waiting for you at the end. At your next stop you'll find a card from someone who's very into keepsakes. So where else to get it but at a place that sells keepsakes galore. There's ornaments and cards, Precious Moments and more. You're card will be located at the back of the store. Just ask for it at the desk at the back." So the chase begins. I knew it was the Kirlin's Hallmark store. So the boyfriend and I jump on the motorcycle and away we go!
Once at Kirlin's we go in the back of the store. I ask if they have a card for me. She talks on the intercom and asks if there is a card for me. Then one of the other employees comes up and says, yes we have it here. This was a card from my best friend's sister. This is what it said:

"Where else would you pick up your card from me? I practically live here! If I'm not at home, I'm here. East end by the greeter." This of course, is Walmart.(My friend does spend alot of time at Walmart.) Once at Walmart I think my friend will be waiting for me. I don't see her so we start into the store. My boyfriend had already spotted what I was looking for, so he lead me back out. Then I saw it. Taped on the wall was a card with my name on it. I open this one and read,

"We've come to this place to watch my husband play. We could have played frisbee golf or hit a few homers, but maybe we still can. At the far side of the lake there's a nice little dock. Your next card is taped under the bench alongside it." Now I'm getting the hang of it. We get back on the motorcyle and head to the park. In the meantime, enjoying the wonderful sunny weather and thankful I have such a wonderful friend. Read the ending in my next post.

What kind of American English do you speak?

2005-05-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

15% Dixie

10% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

That is interesting, I have lived in the midwest my entire life. What is midwestern speech?

Happy Nurses Day!

2005-05-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Today is nurses day. As I was browsing the internet I found this. I'm glad I wasn't a nurse in 1887.

Nurses' Duties in 1887

The item below is from a newspaper clipping I found in my mother's old Bible:

The following job description was given to floor nurses by a hospital in 1887:

In addition to caring for your 50 patients, each nurse will follow these regulations:

1. Daily sweep and mop the floors of your ward, dust the patient's furniture and window sills.

2. Maintain an even temperature in your ward by bringing in a scuttle of coal for the day's business.

3. Light is important to observe the patient's condition. Therefore, each day fill kerosene lamps, clean chimneys and trim wicks.

4. Wash the windows once a week.

5. The nurse's notes are important in aiding the physician's work. Make your pens carefully; you may whittle nibs to your individual taste.

6. Each nurse on day duty will report every day at 7 a.m. and leave at 8 p.m. except on the Sabbath on which day you will be off from 12 noon to 2 p.m.

7. Graduate nurses in good standing with the director of nurses will be given an evening off each week for courting purposes or two evenings a week if you go regularly to church.

8. Each nurse should lay aside from each pay day a goodly sum of her earnings for her benefits during her declining years so that she will not become a burden. For example, if you earn $30 a month you should set aside $15.

9. Any nurse who smokes, uses liquor in any form, gets her hair done at a beauty shop, or frequents dance halls will give the director of nurses good reason to suspect her worth, intentions and integrity.

10. The nurse who performs her labors and serves her patients and doctors without fault for five years will be given an increase of five cents a day, providing there are no hospital debts outstanding.

Mob Boss

2005-05-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, I just found this personality test, and find it interesting. Here's the link:
http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better+Personality&page=1

And here are my results:

Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 54/100
Constructiveness: 44/100
Leadership: 56/100

You are a SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes you a Mob Boss.You are the ultimate alpha person and even your friends give you your space. You can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. You don't make many jokes, but when you do, others laugh out loud. They must.People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. You are calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Yours is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy.You have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. Your charisma is striking and without artifice. You are generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things.

Isn't that interesting!

Openly striving

2005-05-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

When I was thinking of a name for my blog, something kept coming to my mind. How I am always striving to improve myself. Whether at work, or in my Christian life. So what does it mean to strive? Here is the definition:

Strive To exert much effort or energy; endeavor. To struggle or fight forcefully; contend: strive against injustice.

That, I believe is a fitting title for this blog, especially after all that has been going on at work. At work I "strive" to provide the best care for my patients. Sometimes it is a struggle, overcoming the slowness of computer charting, feeling like I have to do everything by myself because my coworkers are too busy talking on the phone, are in the break room chatting, or are involved in their own computer charting, to ensure they leave on time. So, yes, it is a struggle and a fight. And I will continue to strive for the best. And I am sorry if in the process, I talk loudly, bark out orders and treat people like they are stupid. I am sorry and I will strive to change to have improved interpersonal relationships with my coworkers. I will try to be quiet, and kindly and meekly ask people for their assistance, and help them endlessly, forgetting about my patients and my charting if that is what it takes. I feel like I will have to become a mousy, timid, quiet person in order to be more low key and not offend people for my terrible behavior.

This also brings me to the fact that a few months ago I was having to call central supply repeatedly to get supplies that should have already been stocked on the floor. So, it comes to the point where Lisa, my director, was called to a meeting in central supply to discuss stocking issues. It was said in this meeting, by the younger girl who stocks supplies in ICU, that I was intimidating. Hello, asking for supplies and requesting that things be stocked, and kept in supply is too much to ask? And I am intimidating? Why, because I ask you to actually perform your job and do what you are supposed to be doing in the first place? Because I find you not doing your job and being lazy and I called you on it? Pardon me for expecting you to perform your job in the correct way. This bothered me that someone would call me intimidating. It makes you think about yourself and try to determine if it is really true or not. So, I was telling one of the doctors about this, because I thought he would think it was outrageous (and he did) and he said he thought the correct word for me would be intense. I do agree with that. Here is the definition:

Intense Possessing or displaying a distinctive feature to an extreme degree: the intense sun of the tropics. Extreme in degree, strength, or size: intense heat. Involving or showing strain or extreme effort: intense concentration. Deeply felt; profound: intense emotion. Tending to feel deeply: an intense writer. Usage Note: The meanings of intense and intensive overlap considerably, but they are often subtly distinct. When used to describe human feeling or activity, intense often suggests a strength or concentration that arises from inner dispositions and is particularly appropriate for describing emotional states: intense pleasure, intense dislike, intense loyalty, and so forth. Intensive is more frequently applied when the strength or concentration of an activity is imposed from without: intensive bombing, intensive training, intensive marketing. Thus a reference to Mark's intense study of German suggests that Mark himself was responsible for the concentrated activity, whereas Mark's intensive study of German suggests that the program in which Mark was studying was designed to cover a great deal of material in a brief period. (taken from dictionary.com)

So, to be an Intensive Care Nurse I should try not to let it arise from an inner disposition, but perhaps it should be imposed from without. Or should it? If that is what I am, it should be inner, but if it is only what I do, then it would be from without. So, I guess the question is this: Am I an ICU nurse (it is my life, my description) or is it that what I do for a living is being an ICU nurse? (it is a job and it does not define me as a person). Maybe I am getting too focused on what I do for a living and am getting lost in the process. I guess it is hard when I spend so much time working and thinking about work.

Welcome to my world

2005-05-04T20:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, at work I was beginning to think that everything bad happens to me, and no one can understand why I feel the way I do about things. I seem to get all the patients back from recovery who aren't recovered. For example:

the AAA, not on the vent who was brought up from the OR with a swan, and an art line, in a mess with all the lines, and not very stable.
the patient with the carotid endarterectomy who to quote the recovery room nurse, "does not have a hematoma" who also had formaldehyde spilled on the foot of her bed, compliments of the surgery crew. So, when I questioned the nurse about the hematoma, she starts poking around on the patient's neck saying, "it's not a hematoma, it's too soft to be a hematoma". Well, it was a hematoma and the patient had to return to the OR to have it repaired.
the patient last friday who came up straight from the OR who was on the vent who lost 6600cc of blood during a right hip revision, who received rocuronium and Lasix before leaving the OR, who is stable until the anesthesiologists leave the room, then her blood presuure is 80/. Not to mention the fact that her only doctor was the orthopedic doctor with an internal medicine consult, when the internal medicine doctor listed was not even taking calls. Imagine what it is like to have a patient crashing, and trying to notify and page a doctor who is not even available.

So finally yesterday, Allie and Kate (who both talked to our director about me), and our director, got to experience what I get so stressed out about. Isn't it ironic that the people who were complaining about me barking out orders and always needing help had that same problem yesterday? Kate's patient coded and died, although what was Kate doing during the code, she was involved but I'm not exactly sure what she was doing. Allie did help out in the code also. Our director was actually involved in the code, and I was able to show my skills. She didn't know how to set up the monitor for an art line, and didn't know how the blood pumping IV line was used. Which is not surprising. Anyway, I have come to the realization that Allie and Kate don't bark out orders, because they are too green to realize what to ask for. I had just come upstairs from getting my lunch, and Kate's patient was not doing well. Instead of taking my lunch, I helped her out, even though the surgery crew was there helping. Her patient's blood pressure was 67/ and she was waiting around to get blood. Hello, get the blood and get it transfused. Kate seemed to be moving slow, not able to even ask what she needed. Maybe she is jealous of me knowing what I need and not afraid to ask for it. If I need help and need something now, I am not afraid to ask for it. If that seems to be "barking out" orders, pardon me. I can recognize that a low blood pressure needs to be taken care of before it goes to nothing and the patient is coding.

Allie was saying the other day when I was working with my patient with the low blood pressure, that I should start getting my charting done and go ahead and get it in the computer as I do it. She brought a computer in the room for me, which was nice. I feel like I need to get the work done and take care of the patient, before I start charting everything in the computer which takes me away from the patient. Well, now I see what goes on. She had a patient having myoclonic tonic seizure type movements from post cardiac arrest hypoxic encephalopathy. I found out his IV had infiltrated and he needed Depakote, and Cerebyx. Where was Allie? Instead of starting an IV to give the medications he needed now, to hopefully stop his movements, she was at the desk charting on the computer. Its okay for her to be barking orders to another nurse and I to start an IV, while she is on the computer charting? Forget the fact I had charting to do on both of my patients from 1000 am. (it was now the end of our shift) Get your priorities straight! Which is more important, taking care of the patient or being at the desk charting at the computer. I may have people talking to our director telling her that I bark out orders and treat them like they don't know anything. Well, when you act like you don't know anything, I will treat you like you don't know anything. Allie came to me and asked me questions the other day. I answered them appropriatley and correctly and nicely. I in no way talked to her in a condescending manner or treated her badly. She didn't know Neosynephrine double strength could just be programmed in the pump instead of taking the normal dose in half. She knew to take the dosage in half but didn't realize it was still the same mcg/min. 30mcg might go from 120cc to 60cc, but it is still 30mcg/min. Hello, she has worked in ICU for a year, I would think she would know that.

So, welcome to my world, Allie and Kate, this is what it is like to be stressed out and have a bad day. Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to go to Lisa our director complaining about me, when you have no idea where I'm coming from. If you are too green, not to know what is needed to provide good care, don't be going to Lisa complaining about others who do know.

Also, welcome to my world, Lisa. Thank you for seeing what I have been saying about the nurse from recovery. She thinks she knows all that and acts holier than thou, when in fact, she does not know how to act without an anesthesiologist telling her what to do. She did exactly what the anesthesiologist was doing during the code. Standing around telling people what to do and not doing a thing herself. At least when I ask for something, I am busy and doing something myself.

Also, welcome to our world, Sara, our monitor tech. Sometimes us nurses don't even get lunch when we are too busy. Do you see us getting sick and having to go home? No! We aren't allowed that convenience. You got on call and got called in to come at 0700am, so you couldn't handle it. You got lunch with me at 300 pm and was sick because you didn't get your lunch on time, so that was the last straw. So then you had to go home. I had breakfast at 600 am. Did I become sick and have to go home? No, nurses aren't allowed to get sick and leave because we know we have patients to take care of and charting to do. I would love to just say oh, I'm sick, I have to leave and just walk out. I would lose my nurses license if I pulled something like that!

So, welcome to my world.

Called to the office

2005-05-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well, today my boss called me into her office. She said a few people had talked to her about me and my attitude. It was reported that I bark out orders, yell at people, and people don't want to help me because I am mean and make them feel stupid. One example was when I was getting a patient ready to go on a transfer. I had asked for help twice to get the patient changed because the ambulance crew were on their way, and kept getting put off by the nurse. Finally we got the patient cleaned up as the crew was arriving. Then I had no assistance getting the patient ready to go. Getting the monitor set up and packing her things. I was also trying to get my charting done before we left and I had another patient I was sending to the floor or sending home (I don't remember). It just seemed like I couldn't get anyone to help because they were in the break room, chatting. That is my main problem. People sit around in the break room and don't help out, or they are too busy in the computer to come offer a little assistance. It used to be if someone were really busy and needed help, people would offer, and just step in and help out. Lately, getting help is like drawing blood out of a turnip. It's almost impossible. Everyone only cares about doing their own thing, until they need help, then they come running. Somehow, I have to change my attitude, kindly delegate to get things done, and kindly ask for assistance. I had a patient just the other day with a blood pressure of 80, and I needed Dopamine. If I don't yell it out, conveniently no one hears me. If I ask kindly and seek people out from the break room, I could have done it myself. I pray God will help me to have the patience and the calmness needed to handle these situations.